Since i was a teenager, i used to talk with a good friend, about the future, we questioned how our lives will be after years, we will be happy?
Since that time, i have always feared i won’t have a very happy life and i always had an intense feeling that i will go on the wrong path and only a 180 degree turn will put me on the right tracks.
When i was around 20 years old, after my father died, i had a dream, and if you ask me now, it’s the dream that could have “saved” my life.
Here we go … and please don’t laugh of a “sick” person, will ya?!
I was dressed as an ancient greek (i know, i know ) and i was at a crossroad, i was facing a straight path in a forest, full of bright light, light going through the leaves of beautiful green round crown trees, butterflies here and there, birds playing and singing … just like in the fairy tales.
On the left, there was another road, narrower, dark, with trees with no leaves, cold, with bats flying, thunders and lightnings.
I stand there on the crossroad thinking loudly:
– The straight path it’s the best path!
And off i was on the other road, the dark one.
[Present days – The Reality]
I am on the wrong path. Why i am here, right now? Why do i think only a 180 degree turn will get everybody happy?
Is it because the death of my father triggered the hopeless feeling and the uncertainty and i put my claws into this feeling and this made me take bad decisions or to be more exact, not be able to see the big picture in times of intense stress?
Is it because i don’t say no when i really need to say it and stick with it?
As i’ve told you, i think there is a pattern of all the big mistakes we do in life and we keep on doing the same mistakes over and over until we learn the damned lesson.
Maybe this doesn’t happen in one life, but in all of them and we came in a life with debt from the past ones.
Maybe i always knew what to do to evolve, but i made the wrong choice, again and i have to deal with this.
If i think about the past, i think back then, i had some pieces of the puzzle that should have made me take the right path but i didn’t.
What do you think ?!
I will deal with me, but at least i can give you, good reader, some advice. There is a big chance some of you will get some help in my experiences, so:
- Check and double check your intense feelings;
- Check your heart, at big crossroads, if the heart give you even a tiny “NO!”, there is a big chance you will end up bad;
- Always clear your mind of anything and anyone and think outside if the box;
- Don’t get rushed by anyone and anything; If shit will hit the fan, the minutes spend being miserable will feel thousand times as bad.
- Beware what do you talk with others, and to be exact, beware who do you expose your flaws to. Some use this information to manipulate in ways you can’t even imagine;
- Don’t stay in abusive relationships and don’t believe the crap you think, that things will get better. If a guy hit you or if a woman is emotional abusive, it will be like that FOREVER! Run like the light !!! Fuck what others will say and think about you (and those around you will be happy), brake the chains!!!
- Be yourself, people love that, it is the best thing you’re perfect doing it; Get an Oscar everyday; Change only if you are 100% sure you need that change and not because someone tells you so;
- Stay true to yourself and do only good things for others … and then … you will see … things will get better and better … you’ll get that new better paid job, the food will taste better, you will feel more healthy, you will start making love like you are part of the Cirque Du Soleil, your songs or poems will sound better, you will get back with your family, kids will call and come to see you often, she will smile at you, he will ask you out, you will meet your real love and you will live happily ever after and both of you, when you will hold hands when you will be 70 years old, you will smile at all the wonderful things you’ve have together.
Alright kids … that’s it for tonight … old Zachary have to rest now … )))))